December 2011
Twilight Books Summary
— Book 1. Twilight:
Edward: Hey.
Bella: OMG, I'm so silly. And horny.
Edward: Yes. I'm dangerous. I sparkle.
Bella: OMG you're a vampire!
Edward: Yes. Let's go play baseball.
James: I like your girl, Edward. Gotta eat her.
Edward: Roar.
James: Omnomnom Bella.
Bella: OMG I'm screaming in agony! Yes, I will be a vampire!
Edward: I'm gonna kill you, James! I'm gonna suck Bella as well. LOLJK you're not a vamp.
Jacob: Oh, hi there!
— Book 2. New Moon:
Edward: Oops, gotta go.
Bella: OMG don't leave me! OMG I'm so depressed and dying in agony again.
Jacob: Oh hi there! I'm a semi-naked shape-shifter! (I mean, a werewolf!)
Bella: OMG I don't miss Edward anymore, I love you Jake!
Alice: Edward is gonna kill himself!
Bella: OMG no! BRB Jake, you're not important anymore.
Edward: I'm going to do the worst ever. I will sparkle Italians to death.
Volturi: You suck.
Bella: OMG leave him alone!
Volturi: OK, leave now bitches.
Jacob: I love you, Bella.
Bella: OMG I love Edward more, bye!
— Book 3. Eclipse:
Victoria: I'm back, bitch! I'ma cut you!
Bella: OMG no!
Edward: I'ma protect you, dinner! (I mean, Bella)
Jacob: I want to kill her too!
Riley: I will kill you!
Bella: OMG I'm frozen!
Edward: Shit I'm so cold and can't get you hot.
Jacob: Move on bitch, I will warm this whore.
Victoria: You missed me bitches?
Edward: I killed James, you twat! Now you're dead!
Bella: OMG kiss me Jake! Kay, gotta go I'm marrying Edward.
— Book 4. Breaking Dawn:
Edward: I don't want to fuck you, Bella. Marry me first.
Bella: OMG shit, okay.
Jacob: My heart is broken!
Bella: OMG and so is my water! I've been prego for 3 days and now my baby is ready to go!
Edward: Oh no, a monster!
Renesmee: I'ma kill you, mom :3
Volturi: We're gonna kill that bitch, she's a monster.
Bella: OMG finally I'm a vampire! I'ma protect ma man and ma family and some other random bitches.
Volturi: Fine, you won.
Jacob: Bella I never loved you. I wanna fuck your daughter.
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I hate it when girls say they miss their...
I don’t get to see my boyfriend. He’s on tour. I have to PAY to see him.
Every girl has 5 personalities
1. How she acts at school
2. How she acts around her friends
3. How she acts around her family
4. How she acts when she’s with him
5. How she acts when she’s alone